Connection

Since the pandemic I have really been trying to balance life, and at the same time practice mindfulness. I always prided myself in making sure I was "ok" no matter what, but I see now that life pre-pandemic was too busy, and at times overwhelming trying to put enough time aside for people I cared about.

It was amazing to me as well the impact of not having a physical connection with others.  Technology was helpful for a time to somewhat satisfy this craving, however seeing and hearing a person on a screen was just not enough.  It was the physical presence of another that really completed the connection, and when safer to do so a hug, fist tap or handshake really let me breathe again; everything came full circle.  

It was amazing how people became creative and had lawn visits, drive by birthdays and graduations.  People had their patio chairs brought to the front of the house, curtains on homes were never closed, and yes people did put Christmas lights on their homes in July.  All of these examples showed me that we really need to be physically connected.  Which brings me to family genealogy.

Connecting with people and hearing about their experiences is such a powerful thing.  Just understanding how you came to be, or how many people connected in order for your life to come into existence?!  Wow that is a "drop the mic" moment.  I think that's why I believe it is so important to connect with family, to remember their stories, to have a perspective on what their life was like to bring them where they are today.  So what should be we do to preserve those stories?

As a genealogist whenever I see the opportunity I encourage others to have that family interview with parents before memory and time slips away.  Its so important to do these and they really can be fun.  When you decide to do an interview be sure to have a list of questions ready.  Offer a copy to your family member beforehand so they can review them and have some time to think on them.  Check in with them a few days later and to set up a time that works for them.  Even though its a family member you should always ask permission to take a video of the interview, and let them know how you will be using the video.  If they are not comfortable with a recording ask them if it would be ok to write down the information.  It may be a slower process but you can acquire so much information that you never knew before.  I would also encourage have another sibling to your parent in the interview.  Its amazing how they will piece a story together, and some of the attention is off of them.

If your family member is ok with you taking a video, all you need is a phone that has a video option and a stand which is very reasonable to purchase.  I picked up one for $20 and it can adjust from 2 to 5 feet and comes with a remote as well.  Be sure to set up the camera out of the way but close enough to pick up all of the voices and faces you want in the picture.  Test 1, 2!  Be sure to do a test run to ensure that you can hear the person answering the questions clearly.  You don't want to go right into the recording and then later review the recording and realize that you can only hear your voice?  Yup that was me....lol 

What about DNA testing?  Well why not ask your family member if they would be open to doing a DNA Test kit? It has become extremely popular over the last 10 years.  Science has come a long way in a short period of time, and if offers many opportunities to figure some things out on that family tree depending on what you are trying to figure out.  Autosomal (atDNA, both), Y-DNA and Mitochondrial (mtDNA) are 3 types of testing you can look at depending on what your research question may be.  It can be overwhelming  when deciding which one to take so be sure to talk to someone that has the knowledge (I do!). BUT ask the question!!  You just might be pleasantly surprised.

Now even if your family member says no to an interview or a DNA test, there are other ways you can create a connection.  For generations photo albums in a book format were very popular (yes they still exist), and now although digital they still offer the same opportunity;  they create a conversation, a memory and then a story.   

I am hoping that all this talk about connection will somehow help you make that commitment to find the time to create that connection with your loved one, and ask those questions you have always wanted to.   Once you do, I would love to hear how those conversations offered you more clues to your own research.